jod

inocchio and Splinters

One day Pinocchio came to Gepetto with a problem.
"Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters. What can I do about this?"

"Have you tried sandpaper?" Pinocchio hadn't, so he went to try it.

"Pinnochio," said Gepetto a few weeks later. "How is the problem work out with your

"Girlfriend?" said Pinnochio. "Who needs a girlfriend when you have sandpaper?"
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Rooster and Owl

What do you get when you cross a rooster and an owl?

A cock that stays up all night!
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A 90-year-old man said to his doctor

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"

The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
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///////////////Man of the House ///////////////////////

A man and his wife were on their honeymoon. The husband took off his pants and handed them to his wife.
"See if they fit."

"They don't."

"Now you see who will wear the pants in this house." She thought a little while, and took off her panties and asked him to try them on.

"I can't get into these."

"And you won't, either, with that attitude."
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